BUILD IT RIGHT

At our recent men’s breakfast, something interesting happened—guys built their own burgers. From perfectly braaied patties to layers of cheese, sauce, onions, bacon, and jalapeños—some went gourmet, others kept it simple. But every burger had one thing in common: it was built with intention, layer by layer.

And just like building a burger, life—and especially relationships—require intentional construction. You can’t slap things together and expect it to hold. If you want strength, if you want peace, especially when handling conflict, you’ve got to build it right.

1. Start with the Bun: Respect and Humility

No one begins a burger with tomato or lettuce. It starts with the bun—the foundation. In relationships, that foundation is respect and humility.

“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself.” —Philippians 2:3 (NKJV)

Without humility, conflict resolution turns into a competition, not a conversation. It becomes more about winning than healing. Think of what happens when someone builds a burger without securing the bottom bun. The moment they pick it up, everything falls apart. That’s exactly what happens when we try to resolve conflict without maturity, patience, or emotional intelligence.

Respect is the companion to humility. You can disagree, but you must never dishonor. Even when you’re hurt or angry, respond with love, not ego.

2. The Meat of the Matter: Handle the Real Issue

The core of every burger is the meat. Without it, it’s just a salad on bread. In relationships, this “meat” is the real issue—the heart of the conflict. Too often, we avoid confrontation or handle it poorly. We become silent, passive-aggressive, or overly confrontational.

“Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there… First be reconciled to your brother.” —Matthew 5:23-24 (NKJV)

In other words—handle your beef before offering your worship.

Unresolved conflict festers. Words spoken in anger, hurts swept under the rug, offenses never addressed—these things start to stink. And like meat left out of the fridge, they begin to rot not just the relationship, but your peace, your prayer life, and your leadership. If you’re walking around with unresolved “beef,” it’s time to deal with it.

3. Watch Your Toppings: The Attitude You Add

Once the meat is in place, it’s time for toppings. Every man at the breakfast chose his toppings with intention—because every topping adds flavor.

The same goes for conflict resolution. Every word, tone, and response you offer adds “flavor” to the moment. Some of us ruin reconciliation because we pile on the wrong attitudes:

• Bitterness is like moldy lettuce.
• Sarcasm is like ghost peppers—unbearable and unnecessary.
• Silent treatment? Like dry peanut butter—awkward, unhelpful, and hard to swallow.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” —Proverbs 15:1 (KJV)

Even if you’re right, the wrong attitude can ruin everything. The right message, delivered poorly, becomes damaging. The right issue, handled with the wrong tone, can cause deeper wounds.

Build With Intention

This morning wasn’t just about burgers. It was about building:

• Building character
• Building bridges
• Building peace in a world filled with brokenness

Anyone can build a big burger, but it takes a big man to:

• Lay a foundation of humility
• Handle his beef with maturity and grace
• Layer every conversation with truth and love

Conflict isn’t a sign something’s gone wrong—it’s an opportunity to grow. To become better husbands, fathers, brothers, leaders, and friends.

The Challenge

Before the week ends, face at least one area of unresolved conflict in your life. Don’t let pride delay your peace.

• Make the call.
• Send the message.
• Ask for forgiveness—or extend it.

“Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.” —Matthew 5:9 (KJV)

Real men don’t run from conflict—they redeem it. So go ahead—build it right.